DAY 1

Where to start... so, I can always do those corny introductions and be like my name is blah blah and I am into blah blah but let us be honest. Who really wants to know that? Everyone always just wants the tea the gossip of interesting DRAMA filled situations, but who has time for that? Well… I don’t at-least. Is it nice to hear sometimes of course…but everyday all day... come on man that’s why there is tik tok we scroll and make people famous by likes and views and arguing with people we will probably never meet. People never really want to know the real, heartfelt, genuine things. Now stop! wait! do not get me wrong you will encounter that select few who really care and want to know the inner thoughts, ideas, and things you love. Those people are lifelong friends almost the family you would say you wish you had. But do you ever stop and just think like what am I doing at my age, am I always going to be working a nine to five, pay bills, just to have enough left over to buy a whopper with affirm? Well let me tell you that is me 34, working a receptionist job making the bare minim to get by. Trust me I know what y’all are saying you should be thankful you have a decent job making decent money and your bills are paid. Come on though! We don’t want that, that doesn’t make us really happy? Of course not! I’m human I want MORE; we want to make easy money, not stress about bills and be able to travel and most important RELAX! Life is tuff I wish when you were born and finished high school you got like a magic pen and notebook to write out your life instead of living your life, so you could set yourself up for the way YOU want to live ya know? Nice house, paid off cars, no bills and just enjoy the fuck outta life. If only, right? Also, can I just add if life is not hard enough can we please discuss the way you change during life like weight, attitude, or just not having a care in the world. I know I know some of you are probably saying where is she going with this? What is she talking about? What is going on in her head? A LOT my thoughts never end!!!!!! For example, younger me did not care about anything, told people how I felt, had no filter for the things I said or the way I acted. How can I say, “I was doing me” and I was the most invincible person out there. You go on living like that thinking this is the way your suppose to act, or you say the famous words “THAT’S HOW I AM, I’M JUST THAT WAY, IM NEVER GOING TO CHANGE.” You grow though. You get older, and you might “mature” a little and think you know everything there is to know about life! RIGHT!?! Well let me just tell you LIFE hits like a ten-story building collapsing on you, Like I mean…hit you to lowest... til you physically are hitting rock bottom and think. well… F***!

 I do not know s*** about life. Okay so I do not want to lose your attention or bore you so how about we scroll to the future where now you are an adult; you have birthed a kid that will probably grow up and hate you! Got engaged and moved into a fixer upper. Let just say this is where my story really begins... I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who is a big kid now and is trying to figure out who he is in life! Do I have time for him of course all the time in world. Now how much of that time do I want to spend with him? You say…scratching my head maybe 2 hours a day!!!!! Hahaha I am so just teasing, you are probably thinking I am a terrible mother, but I do enjoy spending time with him but just a couple of hours. That is all I can take on a daily basis. Its like kids have a battery built into there little backs and never fucking die. It is like a solar powered rechargeable battery that parents cannot ever find to put their asses to bed or better yet rest. Hints to people saying pregnancy is so beautiful; you don’t think about having another? I am going to lose a lot of readers for this, but its me, raw and honest…. Fuck NO! Did I have thoughts about it sure, but then I remember the headaches from everything and everyone in my house and I AM A-O-K-A-Y! LIKE HELLO? When do I get to take a break, I mean s*** we can not even go to the bathroom alone. I am so shocked more women are not smoking joints or doing drugs. The problem is as mothers you work a full-time job to come home and take care of animals, kids, a spouse and anything and everything else…which I do not know about y’all but MINE shes a child! Oh, and if you have not figured out by the title yes, I am GAY, 😁 but now that were on the subject of her there is a positive thing we did get engaged last year. She is beautiful, like an amazonian/viking as one of my coworkers described! To get a better visual…

tall, skinny, with long blonde hair, green eyes and all tatted. I know what your thinking BAD ASS! Nooooo she is very respectful, artistic, and kindhearted. This relationship is by far my most successful, I would say… but does anyone tell you how much work it takes to make them last! HELL NO! I mean goddam the day-to-day struggle is nuts. We argue, we disagree, let's just say we struggle. Well, it has been nice writing to you. I hope I didn’t bore you to much if you want you can always come back and see what’s new.

Exhausted,

Struggle Of A GAY Mom